he had never heard of it, but because I live on the internet, I already knew all of the details and the controversy and the debate and the criticisms/praise and the predictions, so I was already scowling hatefully at it. He asked me what was wrong, and I derisively told him all about it. Including:
Me: And Lucy Liu is going to be “Joan Watson.” No. Just…no. I can’t, I can’t have that.
Him: Why not?
Me: Because! The best part about the Sherlock Holmes stories is the subtle homoerotic subtext! Ugh.
Him: ….they’re gay?
Me: …I’m not really sure, but that’s what makes it FUN.
MY DAD WAS DEFINITELY JUST TALKING ABOUT THE CUMBERBUM
AND I THOUGHT I HEARD HIM WRONG OR SOMETHING, BUT NO, HE ASSURED ME THAT HE WAS REFERENCING BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH’S BUM FROM A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA
SERIOUSLY, ALL OF YOUR DADS CAN GO HOME, MINE JUST WON ALL OF THE AWARDS
So, I went out to lunch with my dad today, and I made a comment about how a few of my friends thought that Benedict Cumberbatch wasn’t attractive (blasphemy, I know, just bear with me). My dad disagreed, but did allow that he was a bit strange looking. I accepted that, but he went on to say that Benedict’s head was kind of strangely shaped, and as I laughed and vehemently denied it, he demonstrated his point by drawing me a picture. We were laughing so hard, and the waitress just stared at us as he drew it for me on the back of an invoice for work.
me: What is he doing with his hands?
him: He’s snapping!
me: Is he dancing? Why is he dancing?
him: He’s got a case! He does that, you know.
me: What is his hair?
me: Is he naked?
him: No, he’ll have clothes.
me: Will you draw him in Westwood? No, wait…is that…oh my god, is that—
him: It’s that silk, dark purple shirt.
me: It’s the purple shirt of sex!
And then he ordered a burrito, and I had a sandwich, and the waitress thought we were crazy, and we probably didn’t give her enough of a tip for as weird as we were.
This has taken over my life. I was so dedicated to the show before, but Reichenbach made me a real aficionado. I am so seriously considering writing these phrases where anyone and everyone can see them.